So let me tell you about these friends that bring chaos into my peaceful world. I've known all 3 girls in question for years now - 2 dating back to primary school and 1 college.

First we have Tracy -a tall, strapping blonde, the kind of girl that can talk to anyone, I would even go so far as saying she's 'bubbly' but she would most likely disagree. Despite her popularity she likes to think she's quiet and unapproachable (she is not). Tracy and I went to school together - I take responsibility for introducing her to the finer things in life (Rancid/punk music). From school we went to college, from college we found Camden and cider. I have spent the most fun years of my life with this girl - most of which I cannot remember. I rely on her memories to become my own when reminiscing about what we did between the ages of 15 and 22. Sometimes I wish her memories were missing too.

When we were younger Tracy always lacked confidence in a way that was never obvious - she was not overtly shy though she was quieter back then than she is now. Whilst at school neither of us were particularly attractive. I had long frizzy mousy brown hair, spots and 'weird girl' vibes. She had mousy frizzy blonde hair, huge geeky glasses and braces. She would often tell me that the ugly girl followed her long after she'd blossomed into a swan. She could never quite shake that feeling, that she was still 'that' girl. I would wonder if this dent in confidence is one of the reasons she's incapable of being single. In this regard - we are polar opposites. I am terrified of relationships. Actually - that's unnecessarily dramatic. They don't terrify me - I just find them boring. Tracy craved the kind of love you read about in books or see in shitty romcoms. I on the other hand - was quite happy with good sex and muted conversation. In this respect, I believe we have always looked at one another over an invisible line that girls draw when they don't understand each others behavior. Her inability to be single led her to a 9 year relationship and marriage (and subsequently - divorce).

I will continue this another day, as I need to sleep.